One Memory

May 14 2014-8:30am
A little memory

My father has always been a "do it yourself" kind of guy; so he decided to build his family a house. About a year into it, with the help of about 100 friends, myself, my two sisters, and my mom, we were making incredible progress.
I always looked up to my father more then I did with my mother, at least at this point in my life. I wanted to figure things out for myself and be independent from the advice of others, although I still listened.
One day, my cousins, my two sisters and I were playing around with big logs that were meant to be put in the roof my new house. The logs were bigger then me...at least twice my size. But my sisters and cousins, all of whom are at least 3 years older then myself were picking them up...so why wouldn't I be able too?
Well the log fell on me and I nearly broke my leg in two. I cried and cried, screamed, and cried some more. I think it affected me knowing my strength was not equal to that of my sisters, or any of my cousins. I still tried to push myself, even after I initially hurt myself, why I did that I don't know but I do know and understand that im someone who has trouble excepting failure...I just wanna keep going. I hate that an object or a person actually has the power to restrain you from moving forward in life. It drives me absolutely insane and makes my stomach uneasy. But I guess I got no control over it, so maybe I should just let it go.
This experience kind of shot me into a weird, and uncomfortable epiphany that made me a little uneasy, or maybe it was just a long awaited realization. Either way, I learned something valuable about myself, even if I didn't wanna learn it, because when I dropped that log on my leg, after my father told me "I just wouldn't be able to do it...like the other kids" I realized it was okay to not be able to do what others can. I know, its a small and boring memory, and it kind of seems cliché that I'm relating it to this big life realization, but that's how things seem to go for me. I go through life thinking one thing, and then bam!! one day, my minds shifts and my beliefs, not only about others, but about myself are changed. I learned that I am okay with being myself, and not others...that sounds strange but I believe that a lot of people are uncomfortable with who they really are, and it makes me very happy that this seemingly insignificant memory changed the way I thought about others and most importantly, who I was and who I wanted to become.